Did you know there are three different words for “you” in Italian? The one you choose can change everything, from Italian greetings to how you say “thank you” in Italian. But don’t worry, using tu, lei, and voi is easier than it sounds.
Italians are very intentional about showing politeness, respect, or friendship, and they do it through Italian grammar. Formality and tone are important when speaking Italian. This fascinating cultural trait can make things tricky for Italian learners, but with this guide you’ll learn how to say “you” in Italian correctly for every occasion.
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How to say ‘you’ in Italian
Unlike English, which only has one word for “you,” Italian makes a clear distinction: there are two forms for the singular “you,” one informal and one formal, and then a separate word for the plural “you.” The three Italian pronouns meaning “you” are:
- tu: the singular, informal “you”
- lei: literally “she,” but also the formal singular “you”
- voi: the plural “you”, used in every situation
Let’s understand each of these subject pronouns for “you” better.
1. Tu is the friendly, informal ‘you’
Tu is the informal singular subject pronoun, and it can only mean “you” in Italian. It’s been around since the beginning of the Italian language in the 14th century, and it’s the one you’ll hear the most in everyday conversations.
It suits informal settings, such as talking with family and friends in Italian.
- Tu di dove sei? = Where are you from?
- Ciao. Tu come ti chiami? = Hi. What is your name?
When you use tu, Italian possessive adjectives also need to agree with the pronoun.
- Le tue chiavi sono nella macchina. = Your keys are in the car.
- A che ora parte il tuo volo? = What time does your flight depart?
2. Lei is the formal form of ‘you’
Technically, lei is the personal pronoun for “she.” But starting in the 15th century, it also began to spread as the formal way to say “you” in Italian—probably influenced by the Spanish “usted,” according to the Treccani encyclopedia.
However, only after World War II did lei become the standard and almost exclusive form of the formal singular “you” across Italy.
- Lei ha un cane? = Do you have a dog?
- Lei quanti anni ha? = How old are you?
- Che cosa studia Sua figlia? = What does your daughter study?
Important: By convention, the pronouns Lei and Voi are capitalized in writing when used as singular formal “you.” The same applies to object and reflexive pronouns, and possessive adjectives when used for formal tone.
3. Voi is the Italian plural ‘you’
When talking to more than one person, the correct way to say “you” in Italian is voi, like saying “you all” in English.
- Anche voi siete italiani? = Are you all Italian too?
- Voi dove andate? = Where are you (all) going?
- Spegnete i vostri telefonini, per favore. = Please turn off your cell phones.
- Questi cappotti sono i vostri. = These coats are yours.
Here’s where voigets interesting. If you watch old Italian films or read novels set before 1945, you might notice that they use voi to address just one person. For centuries, voi was also the go-to formal singular “you” in Italian, and coexisted with Lei.
Things changed during the Fascism era, when Lei got officially banned as “un-Italian.” After the regime fell, Italians pushed back against that rule: Lei came back stronger than ever, while voi, as a formal singular, almost disappeared.
Today, you may still hear voi used this way in certain parts of southern Italy, influenced by local Italian dialects. But in the rest of the country, using voi for one person sounds outdated.
How the Italian ‘you’ changes your sentences
As you’ve seen in the previous examples, the difference between tu (informal), Lei (formal), and voi (plural) also affects other parts of speech in Italian, such as verbs, pronouns, and possessive adjectives.
Formal and informal tone with Italian verbs
Choosing between tu, lei, and voi also means conjugating the verb accordingly. Since Italians often drop the subject from sentences, the verb form is essential to understand if the tone is informal or formal.
The table shows how to use them with the Italian verb essere (to be) if you want to say “you are” in Italian, and with avere (to have), to say “you have.”
| Pronoun | Essere (to be) | Avere (to have) |
| tu(you, informal singular) | sei | hai |
| lei(she and you, formal singular) | è | ha |
| voi(you, plural or formal singular in Southern Italy) | siete | avete |
In this next chart, you can see how the three subject pronouns change the endings “-i,” “-a/-e,” and “-te” in regular verbs from the three conjugations.
| Subject pronoun | Parlare (to speak) | Prendere (to take) | Dormire (to sleep) |
| tu(you, informal singular) | parli | prendi | dormi |
| lei(she and you, formal singular) | parla | prende | dorme |
| voi(you, plural or formal singular in Southern Italy) | parlate | prendete | dormite |
Formal and informal tone with pronouns and adjectives
It’s not just subject pronouns and verbs that change: object pronouns and possessive adjectives also follow the formal or informal tone.
| Part of speech | Informal singular “You” | Formal singular “You” | Plural “You” |
| Direct object pronoun | ti | La | vi |
| Indirect object pronoun | ti | Le | vi |
| Reflexive pronoun | ti | si | vi |
| Possessive adjective | tuo/tua (m/f s) tuoi/tue (m/f pl) | Suo/Sua (m/f s) Suoi/Sue (m/f pl) | vostro/vostra (m/f s) vostri/vostre (m/f pl) |
When to use tu vs. Lei as ‘you’ in Italian
In modern Italian, tu has spread into many contexts where the formal Lei used to be the norm. Still, your chosen pronoun says a lot about how you see the other person and the type of relationship you want to establish. So the real question is: when should you use tu or Lei in Italian?
Use tu (informal “you”) when speaking with:
- Family;
- Friends;
- Romantic partners;
- Kids or younger people;
- Informal settings (like a bar, a club, or a casual party);
- Teammates or coworkers you know well and have an equal relationship with.
Use Lei (formal “you”) when addressing:
- Older people you don’t know well;
- Superiors at work;
- Police officers or other authority figures;
- Professionals like doctors, lawyers, or even restaurant staff;
- People you want to show extra respect to, even if you know them personally (like in-laws or neighbors).
Asking permission to dare del tu
Moving from Lei to tu marks a shift in closeness in relationships, so Italians have a set of expressions for asking: “Can we be on a first-name basis?”
- Posso darti del tu? = Can I use tu with you?
- Possiamo darci del tu? = Can we use tu with each other?
If you want to tell someone to feel free to call me by my first name, you can say:
- Dai, diamoci del tu! = Let’s use tu with each other.
- Dammi pure del tu. = Feel free to use tu with me.
If the person agrees, you can immediately switch to tu. This little ritual is very Italian: it keeps things polite while making space for friendliness.
On the other hand, if they prefer to keep their distance, they might respond with:
- Preferirei continuare a darci del Lei. = I’d rather we keep using Lei.
This answer isn’t something you’ll hear very often because it is considered quite cold, so if someone says it, you will know they are irritated or annoyed.
Formal and informal ‘you’ in Italian common expressions
Making a mistake with tu or Lei is not a big deal, but knowing when to use the informal vs. the formal “you” can shape your first impression.
Imagine going to a job interview with your future Italian boss and saying: Piacere di conoscerti (“Nice to meet you,” with the informal tu). It might earn you a puzzled look.
The same goes for more personal phrases. Take “I love you” in Italian: saying ti amo (informal tu) is deeply romantic, while the formal la amo will make your partner think you’re talking about some random “she.”
To make things easier, here’s a quick cheat sheet with common Italian expressions and how they sound in informal vs. formal settings.
| Informal “You” in Italian | Formal “You” in Italian | English |
| Ciao! È un piacere vederti! | Salve, è un piacere vederLa! | Hello! It is nice to see you! |
| Come stai? | Come sta? | How are you? |
| Desideri del caffè o del tè? | Desidera del caffè o del tè? | Would you like coffee or tea? |
| Mi fai un caffè, per favore? | Mi fa un caffè, per favore? | Can you make me a coffee, please? |
| Non ho capito. Puoi ripetere, per favore? | Non ho capito. Può ripetere, per favore? | I did not understand you. Can you repeat that, please? |
| Piacere di conoscerti. | Piacere di conoscerLa. | Nice to meet you |
| Scusa, parli inglese? | Scusi, parla inglese? | Excuse me, do you speak English? |
| Ti auguro buona fortuna. | Le auguro buona fortuna. | I wish you good luck. |
| Ti auguro una buona giornata. | Le auguro una buona giornata. | I wish you a great day. |
| Ti auguro una buona serata | Le auguro una buona serata | I wish you a great day. |
| Ti richiamo domani. | La richiamo domani. | I’ll call you back tomorrow. |
| Ti ringrazio. | La ringrazio. | Thank you. |
| Tu parli italiano. Vivi qui? | Lei parla bene italiano. Vive qui? | You speak Italian well. Do you live here? |
Key takeaways for using the Italian ‘you’ correctly
Using tu, Lei, and voi correctly is all about understanding context and the level of formality. These simple rules will help you navigate Italian conversations and understand how Italians show politeness and respect through language. The more you learn Italian in real contexts, the more natural these choices will feel.
- There are 3 ways to say “you” in Italian: Tu (singular informal), Lei (singular formal), voi (plural).
- Depending on the context, lei also means “she.”
- Voi is also an older form of formal singular “you” still used in some southern regions.
- You must conjugate verbs, pronouns, and possessive adjectives according to the form of “you” you choose.
- Switching from Lei to tu often requires permission; ask Posso darti del tu? (Can I use tu with you?).
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